Mermaid Hair and I Don’t Care: A romantic comedy about shoes, surf and second chances Read online

  Mermaid Hair and I Don’t Care

  by

  CJ MORROW

  Copyright © C J Morrow 2016

  All Rights Reserved

  All characters, locations and situations in this publication are fictitious and any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

  Cover artwork and design © Jenny Tiley and Amy-Rose Mayes

  One

  Two

  Three

  Four

  Five

  Six

  Seven

  Eight

  Nine

  Ten

  Eleven

  Twelve

  Thirteen

  Fourteen

  Fifteen

  Sixteen

  Seventeen

  Eighteen

  Nineteen

  Twenty

  Twenty-one

  Twenty-two

  Twenty-three

  Twenty-four

  Epilogue

  Acknowledgements

  One

  ‘How’s it going, Lil?’ Oliver Banstead breathed fag breath and stale Old Spice aftershave over Lily as she approached.

  ‘Great.’ She pushed past him on her way to the stairwell – the best place for a private phone call at Bensons Wholesale Electricals.

  ‘Heard anything about the job yet?’

  ‘What job?’ Lily could hear her own indignation. How did he know?

  He tapped his nose, gave her breasts a lecherous grin. ‘Don’t worry, you’ll get it; you’ve got all the right ‘credentials’.’

  ‘I beg your pardon.’ She was giving him a chance to apologise.

  ‘Just joshing, just joking.’ He winked and waddled off.

  ‘Disgusting fat toad,’ Lily said under her breath. He got away with murder because he was the company’s most successful salesman. Lily didn’t think that was justification for some of his behaviour.

  Once in the seclusion of the draughty stairwell she rang her best friend.

  ‘Hi Tess. How are you?’ Lily asked, but continued without waiting for the answer. ‘Can I borrow your navy and pink shoes? I need them tonight.’ Lily waited on her mobile while Tess considered her answer.

  ‘Yeeesss,’ she said, but it was a drawn out yes, a hesitant yes.

  ‘I promise I won’t damage them. Anyway, I got them repaired last time. No harm done.’

  ‘Mmm,’ Tess still sounded unsure. ‘Okay.’

  ‘Great, I’ll pick them up on the way home from work. Got to go. See you later.’ Lily ended the call and left the cold, echoey stairwell.

  Lily had worked at Bensons for six years and, despite the creep that was Oliver Banstead, it had always been a great place to work. Until lately. As she made her way back to her desk she wondered how long the company would still be called Bensons, wondered if it would even exist in a year’s time.

  ‘Sorted?’ Damon asked as Lily sat down. He spun his chair round and, still sitting on it, walked it over to her desk. He rested his chin on his hand and waited.

  ‘Yeah. No problem.’ Lily gave an involuntary shudder at the memory of the last time she’d borrowed Tess’s shoes – the repair had probably cost more than the shoes were worth.

  ‘So you’re all set for tonight?’ Damon giggled, then clamped his mouth shut to suppress it.

  ‘Yes. Definitely.’ Lily shook her head and swung her hair back behind her shoulders. It was long, dark, glossy and curling in all the right places thanks to the last minute super-blow dry she had managed to squeeze in at lunchtime.

  ‘Looks fab,’ Damon said, taking the cue.

  ‘Thanks. Feels a bit odd having it like this. At work.’ She gave a half embarrassed laugh. Lily never wore her hair down for work; it was far too unruly. She had a hair-dress code just as she had a work-dress code – serious, smart, business-like, hair pinned up and sprayed into place until rigid. Completely under control. It ensured on first impressions you were taken seriously. You could impress with your excellent work once you were in the job. That was how she had come to be joint-head of finance at Bensons Wholesale Electricals at the age of thirty-one. Joint-head with Damon, who at forty-seven said he had no ambitions to climb any higher but was being very supportive of Lily’s aspirations.

  ‘Do you think you’ll hear anything before your two weeks off?’ Damon asked, half whispering so no one else would hear. Sound carried in Bensons, which was why you had to make private calls in the draughty stairwell.

  ‘Probably not.’ Lily sighed. But it would be a great start to her annual leave if she heard she’d been appointed finance director before five pm.

  ‘Did they say they’d let you know before your holiday?’

  ‘No. But Oily Bastard just asked me about it. Does everyone know I’ve gone for it?’

  ‘I don’t know. I certainly haven’t told anyone. Not even The Europeans.’ He glanced over at his hardworking team, Urve from Estonia and Beata from Poland, their heads down as usual, quiet and studious; Damon frequently congratulated himself on choosing such excellent staff.

  ‘He gave me one of his special leers, peered right at my cleavage. I should report him; he’s disgusting,’ Lily continued. ‘Then he passes it off as a joke.’

  ‘Were there any witnesses?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘Never are. He’s clever like that. Anyway, he’s top salesman again this month…’ Damon’s voice trailed away.

  ‘It’s a disgrace that he gets away with his behaviour just because of that. I can’t believe no one ever complains; this is the twenty-first century for God’s sake.’

  ‘He’s harmless really, just from another era. It’s all talk. He stares at my cleavage.’

  ‘You haven’t got a cleavage,’ Lily said.

  ‘Moobage, then,’ Damon said, crossing his arms, hunching his shoulders and squeezing, just to prove the point. ‘But he still stares. Dirty lecher. Anyway, never mind about Oily Bastard, you’ve got tonight to look forward to.’ Damon gave Lily a wink.

  ‘Yes. I have, haven’t I?’ She sat up straight and breathed in deeply. Tonight’s the night, she thought to herself. Definitely tonight.

  ‘We had a bit of bad news while you were away,’ Damon said, his shoulders dropping. ‘Josh is going. Leaving today.’

  ‘What? How? I was only away a few minutes. Poor Josh.’

  ‘He’s all right about it. He’s well past retirement age. Apparently they’ve been very generous. A good redundancy package, he said. And he can claim his state pension now; he’s been deferring it. Says it’s good all round.’ Damon looked pleased with himself, he was such a hub of gossip, or as Damon like to call it, essential information.

  ‘Poor Josh,’ Lily said again. ‘I’ll go and wish him good luck before he goes.’

  Poor Josh who worked in the post room, who’d worked there, so the story went, since his wife had run off with his best friend twenty-five years ago, leaving Josh with two stroppy teenagers and the need for a less stressful job. Various stories circulated that he’d been an astronaut or a city banker – neither rung true; Josh had a rotund body and a jolly face with a matching personality. No one could imagine him athletic enough to go into space or mean enough to be a banker. He looked much more the part he played at the company’s annual summer fete – a fortune teller, complete with crystal ball and gold earring.

  Poor Josh. Was he the first of many? Nobody knew. If Lily didn’t get the finance director job she didn’t know whether she would still be at Bensons herself. It had been made clear t
o everyone that Bensons didn’t need two heads of finance; it needed one and a director. Damon was as keen for Lily to get the job as Lily was, otherwise they’d both be applying for one job – one pitted against the other.

  Ever since Bensons had been subject to a hostile takeover nothing had been the same. Rumours abounded, people had left – not made redundant it was emphasised – without so much as a goodbye, processes had changed, everyone felt nervous, jumpy.

  ‘I’m so sorry you’re leaving, Josh,’ Lily said as she entered the post room.

  Josh was leaning against the counter top; surveying his domain. He had a wistful look on his face. ‘Probably the best time. I’m not getting any younger,’ he said, turning and smiling at Lily. ‘They’re outsourcing. Much cheaper, they say. Not sure how that’s going to work, but what do I know?’

  ‘I’m sorry, Josh. I had no idea.’

  ‘No?’

  ‘No. Really. I know everyone thinks Finance knows everything, but we really didn’t know about this.’

  Josh shrugged. ‘Would have made no difference. Don’t worry about it.’

  ‘What will you do?’ Lily was beginning to wish she hadn’t come to see him. Was she making him feel worse?

  ‘Well, I think I might go and stay with my sons for a while.’

  ‘Your sons?’ Lily said, thinking of the stroppy teenagers. Of course they weren’t stroppy teenagers anymore; they would be older than her.

  ‘I might even move down near them. They both live near the coast with their families – I’ve got seven grandchildren now. They’re always asking me to go down there, stay longer than just a holiday. Nothing to stop me now. Devon awaits.’

  ‘Sounds really great,’ Lily said, sounding horribly false and overly cheerful.

  ‘And what about you?’

  ‘Me?’

  ‘Have you heard about the job?’

  Lily’s eyes widened in alarm. ‘What job?’

  ‘Finance Director. You went for it. How did it go?’

  ‘How do you know?’

  Josh laughed. ‘Everyone knows. We’re all backing you.’

  ‘Thanks,’ Lily said, thinking how humiliating it would be if she didn’t get it. ‘Well, good luck Josh. I hope you have a great time with your sons.’ She held her hand out.

  Josh took her hand, shook it, then holding onto it, placed his other hand on top. ‘Ooh,’ he said. ‘It’s a big night for you tonight.’

  ‘What?’ Did everyone know her business?

  ‘Life changing,’ he said, letting her hand go. ‘You do the right thing, Lily.’

  ‘What do you mean?’

  Josh picked up his bag, tapped his nose and left, leaving Lily standing in the post room alone.

  What the hell was that about?

  Lily knocked on Tess’s door and waited. Then knocked again when Tess didn’t answer.

  ‘Just coming,’ Tess’s voice called from an open window upstairs.

  ‘Hi,’ Lily said when Tess finally came to the door.

  ‘Come in, come in. Sorry. I couldn’t find them, I was hunting for ages,’ Tess said as they went through into her kitchen. She handed the shoes over; they were still in the bag from the shoe menders. ‘I haven’t worn them. To be honest I never felt safe in them after what happened.’

  Lily winced but said nothing. They’d been friends since they’d met in the reception class at school and that friendship had never failed, but sometimes Lily knew that she pushed her luck – especially when it came to borrowing shoes, these ones in particular. Lily and Tess were like chalk and cheese, Lily was loud and a little brash, Tess was sweet and gentle. Physically they couldn’t be more different too, where Lily was sturdy – a word her mother often used to describe her – Tess was delicate; often hiding behind her fine, fair hair. Fortunately they wore the same shoe size.

  ‘In fact, why don’t you have them? Keep them. I think you’ve worn them more than I have anyway.’

  ‘Let me give you something for them.’ Lily thought about how much they had already cost; she should have just bought a pair herself to begin with.

  ‘No. No. I don’t want anything for them. They’re a gift.’ Tess leaned in and hugged Lily.

  ‘Thank you, hun,’ Lily said into Tess’s hair.

  ‘So, what’s the big occasion? Why do you need the shoes?’

  ‘I think tonight’s the night.’

  Tess’s eyes narrowed. ‘Meaning?’

  ‘I think Will’s finally going to do it. Finally going to ask me to move in with him.’

  ‘Okay,’ Tess’s voice had that hesitant tone again. Lily hated that. ‘Why tonight?’

  ‘Because he messaged me at six this morning and he’d written ‘URGENT’ in block caps, several times. Said he’d booked a table at Fabio’s and had something important to ask me.’

  Tess’s mouth dropped a little. She nodded. ‘Oh.’

  ‘And, and, it’s our ten year anniversary. That was a Friday too. Well, nearly. The actual date is tomorrow, but you know what I mean. I remember it like it was yesterday.’ She remembered parts of it anyway. The less drunken parts, but wasn’t everyone drunk at uni? Wasn’t that why you went?

  ‘Okay.’ There was that annoying hesitation yet again.

  ‘What?’ Lily snapped.

  ‘It’s not as if you’ve actually been together all that time, is it? It’s only really been about two years, hasn’t it?’ Tess paused. ‘And you thought he was going to ask you on Valentine’s Day, the last time you wore the shoes. Are you sure you want to wear them again tonight? Not worried they’re unlucky or jinxed?’

  ‘No. And yes, I do want to wear them; they go with my dress. Anyway, I think he was going to ask me then. It was just when I got stuck in the drain it sort of killed the moment.’

  ‘Like an omen,’ Tess said, half to herself.

  ‘No. No. Why are you being mean? I know you and Will don’t get on but really...’

  ‘We get on fine,’ Tess said, patting Lily’s arm. ‘I like Will, I really do. It’s just that you were so upset when he didn’t ask you last time, I don’t want…’ Her voice trailed away. ‘Look, I don’t want to spoil it. You go and have a great time. Tell me all about it tomorrow.’ Tess’s big, false smile was just too bright.

  ‘Yes, but you’ve pooped all over it now.’

  ‘I’m sorry.’

  ‘Mmm. You’re forgiven, but only because of the shoes. I love these shoes.’ Lily held the bag up and grinned.

  ‘They always looked better on you anyway,’ Tess said; but Lily knew that wasn’t actually true.

  ‘I’d better go.’ Lily headed for the front door.

  ‘Have an amazing evening,’ Tess called as Lily got into her car. ‘Hair looks fab, by the way.’

  ‘Thanks.’

  ‘And, Lily.’

  ‘Yes?’

  ‘If he doesn’t ask you, you can always invite him to live at your place.’

  Lily considered for a moment. ‘No,’ she said. ‘His place is much bigger. And better.’

  Lily spent the next two hours plucking, waxing, shaving, tweezing, exfoliating and buffing. By the time she zipped up her dress and stepped into the shoes she was exhausted and hungry, but she looked and smelled delicious. She was ready and waiting to be picked up; in fact she still had fifteen minutes until Will’s arrival.

  ‘Just enough time,’ Lily said out loud, ‘to paint my nails. Yes.’ She pulled out the drawer of nail varnishes, sifted through the bottles looking for the right colour. She wanted something elegant and alluring and sexy – and something quick drying, very quick drying.

  She found the dry-in-sixty-seconds maroon polish, shook it, and began to paint her nails. Wow, it was just the right look – elegant, classy, and definitely alluring. One coat was fine but two would look just perfect, even if it might take longer to dry.

  She wandered around the flat flapping her perfect nails in the air to ensure they dried. The wander also helped her get used to the shoes –she’d forgotten
quite how high they were and that they pinched a little. She was determined that there wouldn’t be a repeat of the last time when she’d got her heel stuck in the drain. She’d felt such a fool as her foot dropped five inches and her ankle went over onto the filthy drain cover. She’d felt an even bigger fool when Will had prised the shoe out of the drain and been livid that he’d dirtied the knees of his new trousers. She remembered only too well the horror of wearing the shoe as she clip-clopped into a restaurant full of gawping Valentine diners and the heel flapping behind her like a giant dog’s tongue.

  Lily was determined nothing was going to go wrong tonight. Nothing. She imagined the surprise she would feign when Will suggested she move in with him. She could move in immediately – they’d both already agreed to take the next two weeks off work but not go away, just spend some quality time together doing anything they liked, spontaneously. Perfect timing.

  She ran to open the door when Will knocked. He beamed at her, his lop-sided grin, his head of thick, floppy hair making him the most gorgeous boyfriend ever. Soon they would be proper live-in lovers. She could refer to him as her partner, instead of boyfriend.

  Lily grinned back and stepped forward to hug him then stopped.

  ‘You’re wearing your biking leathers,’ she said, blinking in disbelief. She’d hoped for flowers but all he carried under his arms were helmets. ‘I thought we were going to Fabio’s.’

  ‘We are. I thought we could go on the bike. I’ve got the spare helmet with me.’

  ‘But…’ Lily waved her hands at her clothes. ‘I’m not dressed for biking.’

  ‘That’s okay, just get changed, babe.’ He stepped inside, dropped the helmets and began to unwrap the hideous old wool scarf he wore for biking. ‘Hold that,’ he said, thrusting it into her hands. ‘I need to use your toilet.’

  Lily stood still and, stunned, waited for him. She could feel her mouth setting into a hard, straight line and the scratchy wool scarf was making her hands itch.

  ‘Get ready,’ he said when he returned and grabbed the scarf from her. It pulled on her nails.